Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer by Cledus T. Judd

Requested by the evil DHammett:

Well a couple of good friends of mine
Elmo and Patsy
Wrote me and said they'd written the perfect country Christmas comedy song.

I said "No you didn't. You didn't mention nothing about...... ... ...
Well...yeah you pretty much got it all. I mean Grandma and of course the
family and getting drunk and run over by heavy machinery and..."

Well since I needed the money I felt obliged to include it on this record.

And it goes a little something like this:

Grandma got runned over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

She'd been drinkin' too much eggnog,
And we'd begged her not to go.
But she'd left her medication,
So she stumbled out the door into the snow.

When they found her Christmas mornin',
At the scene of the attack,
There were hoof prints on her forehead,
And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back.

R: Grandma got runned over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve.
(On her way home)
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
(Say there's no Santa)
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
(Lord, we believe)

Now we're all so proud of Grandma,
He's been takin' this so well.
See him in there watchin' football,
Drinkin beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle.

It's not Christmas without Grandma.
All the family's dressed in black.
And we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?

R: Grandma got runned over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve.
(Midnight before Christmas)
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
(Say there's no Santa)
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
(Lord, we believe)

Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of fig.
And a blue and silver candle
That would have just matched the hair in grandma's wig.

I've warned all my friends and neighbors.
"Better watch out for yourselves.
They should never give a license,
To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves."

R: Grandma got runned over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve.
(Minding her own business)
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
(What do you mean there's no Santa?)
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
(Lord, we believe)

Oh
As for me and Grandpa, we believe.
(We believe in Santa Claus.)